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It really doesn’t matter whether someone thinks an emotional relationship is completely safe. The truth is that in most situations, emotional affairs are just affairs that have not yet become intimate. They either end or they escalate. So (as with any type affair), it’s critical that all one-on-one contact with the third party be severed—before it escalates. 

If there is ongoing interaction with someone with whom you have been very honest in sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings, this can generate a feeling of closeness that stimulates even more sharing—and more closeness, and on and on. Eventually, this relationship can become very close and an emotional attachment develops, causing serious damage to the marriage—whether or not it ever becomes “intimate.”